She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
