Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
