things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
