i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize