I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
