Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
