Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
