i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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