She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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