Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
