I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
