i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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