If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
