My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
