Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
