she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
