I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
