We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
