There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
