well you can't waste a boner
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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