Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
