They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
