Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?