its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
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His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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