I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I got inside last night via doggy door
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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