Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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