He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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