I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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