So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
