I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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