You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
