Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
