people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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