come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
