i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
