JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
