Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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