after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
