don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize