Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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