Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
