We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
