if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she smelled like a LAN party
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
