I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
