oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize