Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
