i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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