I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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