My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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