it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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