did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
