Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
