I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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