AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
