3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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