tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
