Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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