How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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