they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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