Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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