I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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