I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
