you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
